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The first thing to keep in mind is to not get hung up
so much on precise minutes (7:17 Cake, 7:20 Garter, etc.). Set a start time
when it all begins and estimate other key times but really what's most important
is the order and grouping of events. Once the itinerary (order) has been set
and the clock has started, your ceremony/reception will develop a natural
flow on it's own and it's important to allow for flexibility in timing. Your
DJ plays a huge part in keeping things on track and will coordinate timing
with all those involved (you, photographer, caterer, etc) so that you don't
have to worry about what's next and can simply relax and enjoy being with
your family and friends.
Here's a description of what to expect for each traditional element
of an (on-site) wedding ceremony and reception. It's presented in a typical
order that tends to work for most couples but of course you'll have to decide
what works best for you. Certain elements naturally group well together allowing
the ability to maximize dance time and prevent guests from feeling fragmented.
On-Site Ceremony: Set a start time for the actual ceremony and
schedule your DJ a full half hour prior. This way, the DJ's in place, appropriately
dressed and can have some nice music playing as guests are arriving and being
seated. Even if you are planning on live music, you may want to consider having
your DJ provide a small sound system with a microphone so that guests can
actually hear the service.
Cocktail Hour: This is a time for your guests to socialize with each
other and enjoy refreshments and hors de oeuvres. Your photographer may use
this time to take after-ceremony pictures of you and perhaps the bridal party.
Many couples have chosen to forego or limit taking pictures during this time
so they too can join in the cocktail hour. It's perfectly acceptable for your
guests to see you and the bridal party prior to the introductions.
Introductions: Introductions go a long way in setting the tone
for the rest of your reception. Some couples want to keep things somewhat
low-key and simple, sometimes opting to only have themselves introduced. Other's
want to create something a little more lively and upbeat to include their
parents and/or bridal party. Many are choosing to really raise the roof with
a high energy approach. Think about what best suits the personalities of your
bridal party and guests and choose which approach that works best for you.
When it's time, your DJ will come out to where you're gathered getting everyone
lined up and ready to be introduced..
First Dance: The trend has been to do the first dance right after the
introductions. You can opt to dance the entire song with just the two of you
or invite only parents to join, invite only bridal party to join, or invite
parents and bridal party to join in together. It's suggested that if you're
doing the first dance after the introductions, that we don't invite other
guests to join in as by the time they make it to the dance floor, the song's
nearly over.
Welcoming: Traditionally done by the host or hostess (typically father
of the bride) as a way of welcoming and thanking all your guests for being
there. They may want to acknowledge contributions of key people or perhaps
share a short anecdote about the bride and groom or formally welcome the joining
of two families. The welcoming could incorporate a toast but it's not typical.
Some couples do the welcoming themselves. Others opt to forego this altogether.
Blessing: Often done by whomever officiated the ceremony, but
it doesn't necessarily have to be. It can be a family member or a close friend.
Whomever you choose, make sure you give them notice ahead of time so that
they're not caught off guard when called upon. The blessing typically is not
just about the food and usually includes blessing of the gathering making
it appropriate to have it right before toasts. Some couples opt to have a
special cultural blessing i.e. blessing over the bread and wine (motzi). Other
couples forego the blessing altogether.
Toasts: Traditionally done by the best man and maid/matron of honor,
but others can be included as well. Some couples decide to open the microphone
up to any guest who would like to step up and offer a toast. For maximum attentiveness,
the toast would typically take place prior to the onset of the meal, but sometimes
is done between courses or right before/after the cake cutting. If whomever's
giving the toast could use a little guidance, may we suggest having them visit
InstantWeddingToasts.com.
Dinner Service: Typically consists of either a buffet, seated service,
or food stations and will really be a great time for you to relax and get
off your feet a bit. Most likely, you'll be served first and you should really
allow yourself this time to relax and enjoy your meal. You may feel pulled
in many different directions but definitely make it a point to eat so that
you can keep that energy level up (you'll need it!). When done, or perhaps
in between courses, you may want to take this time to freshen up or visit
guests tables.
Visiting Tables: This is a great time for you to touch base with each
or at least most of your guests, especially if you are not having a receiving
line. Keep in mind just how long it will take to make the rounds. Do the math
- if you have 15 tables and you spend 1 minute at each table, that'll take
15 minutes. 2 minutes at each table will take a half-hour, 3 minutes at table...you
see where we're going here. You may want to consider starting with the tables
of guests that you've had the least amount of contact with and work your way
up.
Getting things started: You and your guests have just had a great
meal and you're feeling like it's time to get things started. The thing is,
not everyone will reach that level at exactly the same time. Your DJ will
keep an eye on the room and will be able to sense when it's time to move on
to the next item on the agenda. We don't want to rush your guests, but we
don't want to have them sitting around becoming restless. Your DJ and team
will coordinate with you and your other vendors the precise moment for getting
things started.
Parents Dances: Best done right after the meal as a way to draw the
attention away from the table to the dance floor. Typically includes a separate
song for father/daughter and mother/son but many couples have chosen to use
the same song for both dancing simultaneously. We'll want to have your guests
surrounding the dance floor so they're focused on this very special moment.
Your song choice doesn't have to be slow and sappy but should definitely be
something that has or gives meaning to you and Mom and/or Dad.
Dance Set: Let the dancing begin! How we approach your particular group
will really depend on our discussions, music requests, dynamics of the guests
and general vibe of the room. Typically, we'll want to start programming music
that's catered a little bit more towards your older guests although there's
a lot of great music out there that have multi-generational appeal that we're
confident can get everyone young and old moving. As the evening progresses
so too will the music providing a little bit of something for everyone. Keep
in mind, you're going to be the center of attention and it would go a long
way to getting your guests involved in dancing if you two are out there as
well.
Anniversary Dance: A great way to end the first dance set, this is
when all married couples (including you two!) are invited to the dance floor.
The DJ will have an appropriate song playing (your choice or ours) and will
announce any couple married less then 1 year, please step to the side. Any
couple married less then 2 years, 5 years, 10 years and such will then be
asked to step aside. Through the process of elimination, we'll determine who's
been married the longest over a round of applause, get together with the newlyweds
to offer advice and for pictures.. Sometimes couples will have the anniversary
dance in lieu of a bouquet/garter throw offering the bouquet to the winning
couple.
Cake Cutting: At the scheduled time, your DJ will invite everyone
to gather around as you get ready to cut the cake. Most times the cake cutting
takes place after the first dance set but sometimes is done right after the
meal especially in the interest of preserving dance time. The caterer, coordinator,
attendant or photographer will guide you through the steps in slicing the
cake and may even pose you for a bit for pictures. Most couples are pretty
civil about feeding each other the cake - some of course smash it to it each
others faces. You may want to talk about this beforehand so not to catch anyone
by unexpected and perhaps undesired surprise. Your caterer will need time
to slice and present the cake so on to the next event.
Bouquet Toss: If you decide that you want to toss the bouquet, we'll
invite all the single ladies to the dance floor to catch the specially appointed
throw away bouquet. On the count of three, the bride tosses the bouquet behind
her keeping in mind distance and obstacles (lights, low ceiling, etc.). Let
your DJ know the name of that person who caught the bouquet so that she can
be invited back when it comes time to receive the garter if doing so.
Garter Removal: A chair is brought to the middle of the dance floor
and the bride is seated in it. The groom then positions himself in front of
her often getting down to one knee and slowly removes the pre-arranged garter
that the bride will have put on her right leg. Choose a song that's fun for
you or we can default to something very appropriate. We'll always use good
taste and avoid any potentially embarrassing commentary or approach. Some
couples opt not to do the garter removal but still choose to do the bouquet
toss. Some forego both altogether.
Garter Toss: Single men are now invited to the dance floor and with
the groom's back towards the men, will throw the garter on the count of three.
It's suggested that you actually toss the garter behind you and not to try
to flick it like a rubber band unless you happen to have a super elastic garter.
More often then not, flicking the garter comes up short.
Garter Placement: Traditionally, whoever catches the bouquet and garter
are invited back to the dance floor where the lady who caught the bouquet
is seated. The bride and groom are invited to stand behind them as the gentleman
who caught the garter positions himself in front of the lady and on cue, moves
the garter up her left leg. Once he reaches the stop point, the man then slowly
takes it back down. The garter is his to keep.
Cultural Dance: If doing so, now's a great time to do the apron dance,
tarantella or a hora as a way to reenergize the dance floor. If not, your
DJ will have something programmed to get everyone back to dancing.
Last Dance: This typically is scheduled about 10-15 prior to
the end of the reception and most times is a slower song but it doesn't have
to be! We'll invite you two out to start things off (if you're not already
out there!) and have everyone else join in. Some couples forego having a specific
last dance altogether, it's really a matter of personal preference Once the
last dance has finished, we'll play a couple of great "end of the night" songs
bringing the celebration to a nice close.
Typical 5 Hour Timeline (with-on site ceremony)
00:00 Arrival of the guests
00:30 Ceremony Begins
01:00 Ceremony Ends
01:00 Receiving Line
01:00 Reception Begins
01:00 Cocktail Hour
02:00 Guests seated for dinner
02:05 Introductions
02:10 Bride and Groom First Dance
02:15 Welcoming/Blessing/Toasts
02:30 Dinner Service
03:00 Father/Daughter Mother/Son Dance
03:10 Dance Set
03:45 Cake Cutting/Bouquet/Garter/Apron Dance
04:00 Dance Set
04:45 Last Dance
05:00 Reception Ends
So there you have it in a nutshell. The thing to remember most is to
relax and soak it all in. The day is going to go by like a whirlwind and surprises
will happen. Don't sweat the small stuff and by this point, it's all small
stuff. Remember, true wedding professionals do this stuff all the time and
are there to guide you along the way so that you can relax, dance, be with
your friends and family and celebrate being a newly married couple.
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